Why being on vacation kind of sucks

Being a teacher, I get two weeks off for Christmas winter solstice. I’m not sure why they like the solstices so much around here, but I get two MONTHS off for the summer solstice, so there’s some solstice love going on. (Equinoxes? Not so much.)

Anyway, when left in my natural state (meaning, when I don’t have to work), I pretty much do as little as possible. For instance, I stay up late and sleep in, shower as infrequently as possible, and forget to eat.

I have had a cup of coffee today, and that is only because my husband made enough coffee to share this morning. I have not eaten anything, despite feeling hungry and wishing I was eating something. I am too lazy.

Instead, I read the internet and laugh at other people’s near-death experiences. Having recently discovered Hyperbole and a Half, my desire to make my own internets for others to read was renewed.

So I guess you can blame Allie Brosh for making me think I am entertaining enough to create a blog that people will read.

And you can blame our pagan, solstice-loving society for giving me time off so that I can write about a billion posts every day. For about two weeks. Then I won’t write anything, because I will be busy teaching and stuff. Sorry. (Or: You’re welcome.)

Cats are funny

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I like cats. We own four of them. I laugh hysterically at I can has Cheezburger, we own two copies of the Bad Cat Book, and I treat my occasional depression with videos of cats being funny on the internet. I also like dogs a lot, but let’s be honest – cats are funnier.

I think it’s the underlying fear that the cute things they do are just failed assassination attempts.

I’ve already shown you the video of our most vicious cat, Amira, in this post. She makes no attempts to hide the fact that she would kill us if only we would turn our backs a few seconds longer.

Here are some cats that don’t belong to us. I’m sure you’ve already seen these, but I want to share anyway. (Mostly so that they’re all in one place when I run out of coffee or the zombies come.)

First, there’s An Engineer’s Guide to Cats by Paul Klusman.

Paul Klusman has other funny videos, including An Engineer's Guide to Cat Yodeling.

Next, there’s Winston. His videos are posted by richfofo on YouTube. I wasn’t sure which of them to post here, at first, so here’s the first one I saw:

Winston is adorable.

And, while this isn’t a video of a real cat, I very much enjoy the cartoon series Simon’s Cat. Simon’s cat reminds me of another of our cats, Goblin. I don’t need to post a video of Goblin, because this is pretty much what it would look like:


I’m sure you can find more funny videos on your own. Or maybe you hate cats, in which case I have no idea why you’re still reading. I do write about other things, you know.

Fleeting obsessions

When I was a kid, I wanted to be famous. I couldn’t decide whether I was going to be a movie star, a singer, or a dancer. That’s probably why I am not good at any of those things, now. When I got a little older, I wanted to be a secretary. My mother said I was too smart for that, so then I thought I’d become a veterinarian or an astronaut. (Because those things go together…) I later decided that if I was going to go school for that long, I might as well become a people doctor. On a whim, I figured I should be a pediatrician. Then I realized that going to college for the rest of my natural life did not sound fun, so I settled on teaching. Eventually, I ran out of time to change my mind, so that’s the career path I stuck with.

Teaching = telling people to be quiet all day.

This is pretty much how my brain works all the time. “Ooo, shiny!” pretty much runs my thoughts. It’s a wonder I get anything done at all, and it probably accounts for the fact that I have not become really fantastic at any one thing. In the time it took me to write the last paragraph-and-a-half, I have been distracted by: cats, the radio station, some lint on my shirt, and the fact that one of my keys is sticking. Honestly, I should probably be medicated.

Look, a goat! What was I saying?

What was I saying? Oh, right… my inability to focus. (Ha!) Anyway, my point is that I have many interests, and they are forever changing. There are some that I come back to often: photography, roller derby, and playing the violin are a few that have been rattling around in my head lately. I think I had originally intended to discuss one of them in depth in this post, but (as usual), I got a bit distracted and all over the place. That happens a lot, so I guess this is fair warning.

I don’t make sense.