179 to go.

Holy shit!

(Too tired to talk about it now, but there will be more substantial updating this week.)

Several parents expressed gratitude at my attempts to speak Spanish with them, and I want to work on my Spanish. There is a program offered in my district that involves taking a Spanish class once per week and going to Guatemala during the summer, and it’s completely free to teachers. I’d really like to get into it, but I’m not sure if I’m too late.

Things are a bit stressful at this moment - I have to write up lesson plans for the week to turn in on Monday morning… it’s not really that different from requirements I had during student teaching - in fact, the required plans are far less detailed than what I’m used to. That being said, I’m a little lost as to how to start things off. One of the other third grade teachers emailed me her plans from last year’s first two weeks of school, so I will look over those for guidance.

You know, even though my name is on the door and I’ve spent a week preparing my classroom, it still doesn’t feel like “mine”. I know this will change as time goes on, but I’m so used to working with other people’s students, I’m not sure how having my own class is supposed to feel.

My room was completely empty when I came in… I had nothing except a teacher desk, a kidney table, some chairs, two bookshelves, an overhead, and computers. I don’t have any textbooks. No library. No student desks. No crayons, paper, markers… nothing. I couldn’t move any of the furniture, yet, either - AND we don’t get our keys until tomorrow.

Stress city.

I swept out a cabinet and feebly started putting my personal teacher materials in it. I really had no idea where to start. I still don’t.

I have a sad stack of books, most of which are probably too low-level for my third graders (I student taught 1st grade, so I have LOTS of picture books). I was given construction paper and some supplies when I left student teaching, but not nearly enough. Not even close.

So, I did what all teachers do - I went shopping. I have no idea if I’ll get reimbursed or for how much, but I just HAD to buy SOMETHING. The first day of school is in a week, and my walls are completely bare - I needed a calendar, Star of the Week stuff… I’m going to spend today making “welcome” decorations for Open House (Thursday!). I’m broke. I’m tired. I’m not sure how it’s going to come together.

But I know it will. I know it will all work itself out… I bought crayons, markers, colored pencils, nametags, posters, a calendar, borders, and office supplies. And the wonder folks at Staples are having WONDERFUL sales for Back to School, including free supplies with an increased limited quantity for teachers. I was able to get 25 bottles of glue, 25 plastic rulers, and 25 packs of pencils (200 altogether) - all for FREE. I’m not being paid to say this, and I’m not one for brand loyalty, but Staples is saving my ass right now.

Tomorrow I’m going in to school early. Really early. I have to - I won’t be able to calm down until my room looks like a third grade classroom and not a cavernous storage space.

You know what, though? I’m so excited that it actually overshadows the stress. Here’s to a great year!

So much to do, so little time!

It’s been a long, hard year - and I’ve accomplished quite a bit. I wish I had documented more as I went, but I had a hard enough time keeping my head above water. Maybe over the next couple weeks I’ll be able to reflect upon my experiences and give you all an idea of what it was like.

I wish I had updated with at least a little blurb every day. I didn’t because I thought it would be annoying to just get a few sentences of “kids say the damnedest things,” but they really do. I did keep a written journal here and there, so maybe I will post some of that.

Over the summer I hope to teach summer camp at a local science center, so I will update on that experience as well as the “job hunt.” I have some places in mind, and have been to a job fair, but I haven’t seriously started hunting. That starts next week.

I’m going to miss these kids. Maybe more than I will any future classes… they’ve taught me so much about myself. I intend to visit periodically before their year ends in June.

I can’t believe that I will be graduating in exactly 20 days. It’s been a journey, and I hope you’re willing to follow along to the next one!

I have first graders. They cough. I try to teach them how to do it without expelling their ick all over me. I should share.

First of all - NEVER HAVE THEM COVER THEIR MOUTH WITH THEIR HANDS! They’ll just use their hands to spread that nastiness all over the place. Yes, some schools can still give their kids hand sanitizer (thank goodness!), but still… will they use it? Really? In the middle of the hallway, 5 minutes away from the classroom? Exactly.

I always tell my students to cough into their elbow. I guess it’s technically the crook of their arm, but they understand what you mean when you say “into your elbow.” Most of the time, during cold and flu season, their arms are covered in clothes, anyway, so they shouldn’t bitch too much about coughing on themselves. Also, I’m not afraid to tell them “I’d rather you cough on you than on me!”

I got the plague pretty bad, this year. I was sick (like, nasty sick) for over three weeks. Hooray, sinus infection! I don’t want to get sick again, this semester. However, I’ve had a really sore throat for two or so weeks, now… I thought it was getting better, but it seems to be just as bad as ever. I’m thinking I might have some form of strep where only the throat is sore. I’m hoping to get tested this week, and probably go back on antibiotics (joy), but it really is annoyingly painful. Like “I don’t want to swallow” painful. Talking doesn’t hurt really badly, just swallowing and singing. But I can still do both.

Anyway, I just wanted to add this bit of advice.

Cough into your elbow.

(This is good advice for adults, too, who are often worse about washing their hands than kids.)

Some background:

My school follows the Positive Behavior Support (PBS) system. Because I’m a student teacher, I have very little clue what that is, except to know that it tries to redirect negative behavior, and encourage positive behavior, by offering more intrinsic rewards (certificates and recognition instead of candy or toys).

This is used in combination with a school-wide color system. Everyone starts on two green, and moves down to one green (verbal warning), yellow (note home), and then red (go to the office). They can move up for outstanding behavior or if they are able to significantly improve their behavior; purple is the highest, after two green. (They get a good note home if they get purple.) Three purples means they move up to blue, which means they get a special breakfast sometime in the year. Every teacher uses this, and the school recognizes the system. This means that if my students are in music, the music teacher can give my kids purple notes for good behavior, or punish them in the same way we do in our class.

While I appreciate the consistency, it really doesn’t work very well for such a diverse group, especially since the punishments aren’t logical. You talk in line or play in the bathroom, you go down a color. Big deal. This is great for catching the semi-repetitive bad behavior in kids with involved parents, but what about the kids who talk constantly? Or the kids who never do anything bad, but don’t really do anything outstandingly good, either? And what about the kids who are really doing the best they can, but keep getting yellow notes sent home? They have no motivation to try, if they are always getting in trouble.

So, while it’s supposed to be consistent, it’s often tailored to each student, which the others see as “unfair.” I’m trying to teach my kids that “fair” and “the same” are two different things, but first graders only know somebody else is getting away with things they aren’t. I’d be mad if I were 7, too.

My approach to this has been to use my better judgement, and try to use it as a reminder, rather than a punishment. That seems to be working fairly well. My hope is to send home more purple notes than yellow notes, but only if they’re deserving, of course.

What I really want to know is how can I incorporate logical consequences into my classroom? As adults, logical consequences are what motivate us. We don’t touch a hot stove because we know we will get burned. We don’t drive on the wrong side of the street because we will crash. Some of us are careful not to say hurtful things to people because we don’t want to hurt their feelings (or get sued…). I feel like that is what my kids need, too - consequences that make sense and fit the behavior that should change. Yeah, none of them want to get a yellow note, but they get the same punishment for every behavior.

I feel as though they would be more inclined to follow the rules if the punishment fit the crime, you know? Like, if they can’t walk quietly down the hall, I’ll have them walk with me. They hate that, but when half my line is talking and dancing past the principal, what do I do then? I thought about telling the kids who play and yell in the bathroom that they have to go alone in the classroom until they can prove to me that they can behave, but I don’t want bottlenecking at the bathroom or accidents. So, what works?

I hate candy as an incentive. I know the sugar doesn’t make them hyper, but they get enough candy. Besides, I like candy, too. I’d have to refill the reward jar every day. I don’t really like stickers or other prizes, either. Besides, I think the purple notes are a great motivator, and they have something to show their parents. I need a method of punishment that is consistent, logical, and easy to implement and remember.

Any ideas?

(2) I’m never going to plan the way my supervisor makes me do it.

(3) Yoga is a necessity.

(4) A masseuse would be awesome.

(5) First graders are smarter than most give them credit for.

(6) Breakfast would be great, if I had the time.

(7) School lunch isn’t vegetarian friendly, but it’s not that bad on the occasions I can eat it.

(8) I pick favorites. But I don’t treat them differently, I just adore them more. Though, these favorites change on a weekly/daily/hourly basis.

(9) Parents… aren’t so bad, sometimes.

(10) Insurance in this country is pretty fucked up. Sorry for the language, but it really pisses me off when a single mother working 2 jobs with two daughters in elementary school gets denied Medicaid coverage for her daughters and the person handling her case can’t tell her why.

(11) I love this job. So much. It’s almost painful, but in that good way.

Tonight there is a special event at school, so I’ll be pretty dead tired at 8pm when I’m headed home. I think I’ll just crash when I get there. I hope to start updating more regularly, now that I’m kind of in a routine. Hopefully that routine will shift a little so I can get more sleep, but that would require me to actually plan ahead… and who does that??? I have lots of good things to share, though…

My school finally got the student workbooks this month, so my teacher started teaching it one Wednesday that I was there.

And I have to say, I’m horrified.

All the reasons to not buy and implement a system like this are there: it’s expensive (a $6 workbook for every student in grades K-2 plus a $6 teacher’s guide for each teacher and whatever other materials they purchased), it’s vocabulary-heavy, and it takes just as much time (if not more) to teach them how to use the method as it does to just teach them how to write.

Plus, it’s everything I hate… cutesy phrases that only vaguely relate to their purpose, lack of meaning, and boring repetition.

I remember learning how to write in elementary school… I hated it. “Write the letter p exactly this way 10 times. Now do it again. And again. Oh, no! you didn’t bring the tail all the way down to the line (that won’t appear on any actual paper you’ll ever use for anything other than handwriting practice)! Start over!” It’s ridiculous and impractical - and kids hate it.

I realize that being able to write legibly and consistently is important, I do… but can’t we, after decades of doing it the boring way, figure out a better way to teach it? I know you have to practice, by why can’t you practice using words and situations (and paper!) that the kids will actually use? Why can’t you just model the correct way and tell them you want them to write the letters the way they appear on their nametags or on the wall or wherever you might have the alphabet hanging in your room?

And, honestly, do we need to confuse them any further with the “magic c,” “frog jump capitals,” and “up, up like a helicopter, slide down, bump”? I mean, seriously - what the fuck does all that even mean? I remember, when I was learning how to write in cursive, my teacher kept telling me a cursive “r” was supposed to look like a chair, and I kept fucking it up. I just didn’t understand how what she drew looked anything like a chair, so I tried to draw mine like a chair instead of like hers, and she kept telling me it was wrong, and I still have trouble writing the cursive “r”. All because my teacher was so concerned about the vocabulary used in whatever system my school adopted to teach cursive that she didn’t notice that it wasn’t working.

I feel sorry for any kids who come in new in the second grade that aren’t familiar with Handwriting Without Tears. They’ll be lost and confused and frustrated. The funny part - the teacher’s guide actually states (on page 23 for those following along), “…there is no strange jargon or indecipherable terminology.” HA!

Ha ha ha! Ha HA ha HA! HA!!!

I don’t know if they’re fooling themselves, but they certainly haven’t fooled me - this system is so FULL of strange jargon that you spend half the time teaching them what it means to “frog jump up” and what the fuck a “magic c” is. I tried explaining this system to some of my adult friends (both education majors and not) and they were perplexed.

I don’t know of any “standardized” alternative to the program, myself, but I’d rather just teach them how to write my own way than use this… though, I’m sure there is something better out there. Any ideas?

My hope was to update weekly with my student teaching escapades for the week, but that hasn’t happened because… well, because life happened, instead.

My mother passed away in September, and I’ve been trying to catch up from that. I’m okay, and things are generally fine with school and teaching and all, but updating this journal has been rather low on the priority list as a result.

There are so many things to share, though - I’ve taught a lesson that went really well (I want to post the lesson plan), I’m working on a special case study that is both heartbreaking and eye opening, I’m getting ready to teach another lesson on Wednesday, my methods courses are proving tedious and only slightly useful, and I went to a math conference that was simultaneously boring and helpful and extremely crowded.

I’m growing as a teacher, and I can feel some exciting changes taking place in the way I think and plan and work with children. I am starting to feel like a responsible adult, and teaching is more and more becoming second nature to me.

Please, if you haven’t given up on me, yet, don’t. I truly appreciate your interest and input, and am anxious to offer what little knowledge I have, as well.

Thank you.